DJ Envy and Misplaced Hurt

Who do you blame when there is no one to blame but yourself? DJ Envy should be asking himself that very question after his spicy interview with the self-proclaimed #BodegaBoys Desus and Mero on their Breakfast Club Power 105.1 interview that aired on March 15th via Youtube. In the interview, DJ Envy wants to set the record straight in honor of his wife, his marriage, and his family after Desus jokingly comments that Gia, DJ Envy's wife, was only present in the marriage for Envy's checks. Envy was clearly bothered by the joke arguing "You owe my wife an apology for insinuating that she was here for the check. You can talk about me all day. You can make jokes about me, but when it comes to my wife and my family there's no 'but'." Adding that the joke was disrespectful to him and Gia. After expressing his frustration and insisting on an apology, the two guests were forced to apologize--for what seemed like the sake of the success of the interview. Even after the apology, DJ Envy stormed out the interview in a huff that followed with laughter from his co-hosts and two guests. 

In no way am I excusing DJ Envy's right to protect and defend his wife's esteem. In fact, I would want my husband to speak up in defense if such a situation occurred. However, I believe that Envy's bitterness towards Desus and Mero's joke was misplaced hurt. In Don't Hate the Wait Volume 1-What To Do in the Me Time, Sharice Cuthrell weighs in on the how unsettled mistakes will lead to unhealed spirits. She writes "Most of the time, you make mistakes because you are either too hurt to see what you are doing or too hurt to care. The danger in this is you transition into the next relationship without allowing time for healing to occur...If you do not allow yourself to be healed what is sure to happen is you will misplace your aggression and hurt someone the way you have been hurt." DJ Envy's embarrassment of his betrayal towards his wife was unfairly projected onto innocent late night talk show comedians Desus and Mero. The Bodega Boys held their ground and maturely diffused the situation, but the overall interaction revealed Envy's poor attitude and sense of humor. 

Raashaun, it's time to forgive yourself!



What do you think about DJ Envy's reaction? Do you think he was justified or not? Join the conversation in the comments below! 

Thank You!

I must say, Dreamers, it's been a revealing 15 days into our crazy month of March! I have to take the time to tell everyone who participated, gave amazing feedback, and began processing the 11 Degrees of Narcissism inner work healing plan. Please revisit each post, playlist, and movement. Journal, record and remember your journey. I wish you well and I hope to see you again on Small Pink Dreams blog!

11 Degrees of Narcissism: HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

How Bad Do You Want It?

Daily Devotion

5 And the apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith." 6 So the Lord said, "If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,' and it would obey you. 7 And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, 'Come at once and sit down to eat'? 8 But will he not rather say to him, 'Prepare something for my supper, and grid yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink'? 9 Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. 10 So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.' (Luke 17: 5-10)

Movement

Sarvangasana is a very good physical yoga for anger release. The pose rejuvenates the brain cells through the proper supply of blood. Not just the brain, the pose helps in keeping the blood flow rate perfect for each part of the body. To start with, first, lie down on the ground keeping the legs straight.

The Herb

Discussion Question

We live in an instant culture that tells us that we are entitled to anything anf everything we want. It says, "I deserve better. I deserve more. I deserve it all. People should take care of me. I'm entitled to more than I'm getting." Nothing could be closer from the truth than this mentality. Entitlement is the unreasonable expectation that one should receive special treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations. A narcissist always puts themselves first in every situation. They expect others to ask "how high?" And that's not how this works.

How do you best serve others around you?

Join in the conversation in the comments below!

11 Degrees of Narcissism: COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE

Come Out Wherever You Are

Daily Devotion

26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26)

Movement

Chair Pose (OOT-kah-TAHS-anna) utkata = powerful, fierce. — is a standing yoga posture that tones the entire body, particularly the thighs! Practicing Utkatasana builds endurance and stamina, while toning the nervous system. Holding this pose for several breaths increases the heart rate, stimulating the circulatory and metabolic systems. It builds a lot of heat in the body, and fast.

The Herb

Discussion Question
Narcissism is of self-interest. Cynicism is of skepticism. Since both narcissism and cynicism appear to be merely complexes outside the control of the individual, they don't spiritually and emotionally connect until the damage is done. Cynicism is so undetectable because it is so justifiable. It wears a mask of insight and godliness, but it conceals festering wounds of harbored bitterness against God and neighbor. We need to understand cynicism, because the masks we wear tell us about the wounds we hide, and point us to the Savior who yearns to mend them."You love yourself, are an egotist, you think you are above and better than everyone else, you put people down for your own gain or because its fun, you have no sympathy for others, and you think WAY to much of yourself, you think your problems are bigger and more important than others, you get mad when people treat you badly, yet you have no regard for other humans." 

What are you hiding from your true self?

11 Degrees of Narcissism: SEPARATING THE DELUSION FROM REALITY

Separating the Delusion from the Reality

Daily Devotion

5 I saw a dream which made me afraid, and the thoughts on my bed and the visions of my head troubled me. 6 Therefore I issued a decree to bring in all the wise men of Babylon before me, that they might make known to me the interpretation of the dream. 7 Then the magicians, the astrologers, the Chaldeans, and the soothsayers came in, and I told them the dream; but they did not make known to me its interpretation. 8 But at last Daniel came before me (his name isBelteshazzar, according to the name of my god; in him is the Spirit of the Holy God), and I told the dream before im, saying: 9 “Belteshazzar, chief of the magicians, because I know that the Spirit of the Holy God is in you, and no secret troubles you, explain to me the visions of my dream that I have seen, and its interpretation. (Daniel 4:5-9)

Movement

Child's Pose (Balasana)--This is an important posture to learn, especially if you are high-strung or stressed out. There is an emphasis on correct breathing with this posture, which further strengthens your connection between mind and body, bringing you into a state of awareness that helps you to fully relax your body into the posture.

The Herb

Discussion Question

The narcissist loves to tell a good story. When in conversation with one, you'll notice that the world looks much different from how a narcissist sees it. They can capture you with tales of personal triumphs, heroism, even selflessness. But it’s when you look more closely that you discover they’ve rewritten the entire thing to tailor how they want you to view a circumstance. Not only are they living in a fantasy, you believed all their self-mythology.

Where do you escape to when the walls are caving in?

Join in the conversation below in the comments!

11 Degrees of Narcissism: POINTING THE BLAME

Pointing The Blame

Daily Devotion

12 Mockers resent correction, so they avoid the wise 13 A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. 14 The discerning heart seeks knowledge but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly (Proverbs 15: 12-14)

Movement

Eagle Pose — Garudasana (GAH-rood-AA-SUN-aa) — is an intermediate posture that challenges both balance and flexibility . The pose gets its name from the Sanskrit words, garud, meaning eagle, and asana, meaning pose.

The Herb

Discussion Question
We all love to point the fingers. It is easy, comfortable, ego boosting, but at its basic element, irresponsible. Narcissists tell themselves "It just couldn't be me." "I didn't do it." My good friend and soul sister Aaliyah Scimone (The Poem) always says to check yourself first! Most often, however, the narcissist blames the one person who is the most emotionally close, most attached, loyal, and loving in their life. 

How do you create justice in aspects of your life? 

Join in on the conversation below in the comments!

11 Degrees of Narcissism: FEELING GOOD WITHIN AND WITHOUT

Feeling Good Within and Without

Daily Devotion

17 These people are springs without water and mists driven by a storm. blackest darkness is reserved for them. 18 For they mouth empty, boastful words and by appealing to the lustful desires of the flesh, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. (2 Peter 2:17-18)

Movement

Tree Pose (Vrkasana) --The trees are representative of the patience and conviction that Sita had in waiting for her exiled husband. At one point the trees speak to her, saying "Stay still, little sister. Be calm and steady, like us. Seasons change, we know, we know. This captivity is not forever. Stay still, and remember Rama." During Tree pose, one of the goals is to stay rooted through your foot into the ground and hold the pose with patience.

The Herb

Discussion Question

Narcissists battle with the need for constant attention—even following you around the house, asking you to find things, or constantly saying something to grab your attention. Validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others--and denying their real fear of invisibility. No matter how much you tell narcissists you love them, admire them, or approve of them, they never feel it’s enough—because deep down they don’t believe anyone can love them. Despite all their self-absorbed, grandiose bragging, narcissists are actually very insecure and fearful of not measuring up.

Can you stand up to your reflection?

Join the conversation below in the comments!

11 Degrees of Narcissism: WHERE IS YOUR HEART?

Where is Your Heart?

Daily Devotion

1 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called (Ephesians 4:1-4)

Movement

Downward Facing Dog--The spiritual implication behind the pose lies in the act of a combined stretch with a moment in which the yogi turns inward. Simultaneously connecting to your center while stretching your body into a long line has a unifying effect positioning your spirit within while you stay connected to the outside world.

The Herb

Discussion Question

The narcissist lacks empathy and care. They are not really interested in the lives, emotions, needs, preferences, and dreams of people around them. When one gives up on the possibilities of joy in objects and people near, the narcissist proceeds to devalue and discard the ideas they cherished most. This behavior is adapted after people have abandoned or shown disinterest in the narcissist's passions. As a passive-aggressive solution, the narcissist decides those who fail to recognize their talents, divine mission, perfection, etc. do not deserve consideration. This can be emotionally overwhelming and socially isolating.

What areas of your life do you prioritize most?

Join the conversation below in the comments!

11 Degrees of Narcissism: MOVING PAST SHAME

Moving Past Shame

Daily Devotion

4 I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. 5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces never covered with shame. (Psalm 34:4-5)

Movement

Lotus Pose — Padasana (paD-DAHS-uh-nuh) — The lotus flower is a symbol of purity, and the Lotus Pose is a frequent pose for meditation and pranayama, or breathing exercises. Breath is the purifying power in the human body; deep, slow breathing purifies and energizes our bodies. This spiritual meaning of the lotus flower is transferred into yoga asana practice in the form of the seated meditation posture.

The Herb

Discussion Question

Shame and control are intricately bound to one another. Narcissists hate to be embarrassed because there is nothing worse than having someone point out a mistake you've made. Ironically, narcissists have no problem doing it to others! Shame convinces our minds that we do not deserve to succeed or be happy. When we feel that we don't have control over our life, it breaks our confidence, it blurs our judgement, and it influences our ability to retell our success to others. 

What areas of your life do you feel most compelled to control?

Join the conversation below in the comments!

11 Degrees of Narcissism: UNCOVERING THE NARCISSIST

How do you know you're narcissist? Do you even know what a narcissist is or what they actually do? Being a narcissist isn't just poor behavior or a pessimistic spirit. Short of qualifying for a diagnosis for the mental disorder, many people exhibit small forms that help them adapt to some of life's trials and stress. We must be honest with ourselves and admit to our tendencies of obsession, shame, ego, and unhealthy patterns in our relationships. We can think of narcissism occurring in many forms that interfere with your happiness and ability to see success. Let's uncover the narcissist within. 

*breathe deeply* ready...set...go!

Day ONE 

Uncovering the Narcissist

Daily Devotion: 

22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,[c] your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are unhealthy,[d] your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! 24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. (Matthew 6: 22-24)

Movement:

Mountain Pose — Tadasana (tah-DAHS-uh-nuh) — is an active pose that helps improve posture, balance, and calm focus. Its name comes from the Sanskrit words "tada" (meaning "mountain") and "asana" (meaning "pose").

The Herb

Discussion Question

The original definition of narcissism stems from Narcissus, the myth of the youth from ancient Greece who fell in love with his own reflection in the water only to drown in the process. We have plenty of mirrors that take many forms to make us entranced with our reflection of who we think we are. Those forms may be in our relationships (holding on to people that make us feel better about ourselves), our awards and accolades, or even in our businesses and careers. 

What things in your life entrances your own insecure understandings of self? 

Join the conversation below!


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