To Our Brothers Next Door...

lowkey I be thinkin' she talkin' bout me. 

The personification of his words without a name reads like a bullet shot in the dark...

Our brothers next door are ambushing Our most personal and political thoughts. 

When we scream "HELP!, they argue "Why?" 

When we scream "PROTECT US!", they argue "bUt wHaT abOuT mEee?" 

When we say "LISTEN TO OUR PLEADS!", they argue "watch your tone." 

As many of us opened our music streaming platforms to begin the song "Snow on tha Bluff", we all heard J. Cole declare beef on Black women intellectual thoughts. It deeply disappointed me to hear J. Cole take time out of his unimpressive, common day and a radicalizing moment in United States history to police the forlorn petitions from a Black woman whom shall not be named. To be clear, my criticism is against the silencing of Black women intellectual thoughts. This moment triggers more than just one woman within the hip-Hop public sphere; it attacks many like myself that are outspoken, unapologetic, and intimate with the knowledge we have learned from many levels of life. When there are screams for protection of Black women and Black girls, this means nothing is left on the table. It means protect our voices, our physical space, our spiritual freedoms, and it especially means protect intellectual property. 

This moment strikes as a common occurrence among Black folks in the United States. Many times, our Black women philosophers and scholars have to remind men that the struggle focuses not on the respectable appearance of political engagement but on the ideas and literature produced in the movement. If we research the life and written works of Anna Julia Cooper, PhD., we will find the exact same rhetoric. In fact, Vivian M. May explores this phenomenon in Dr. Cooper's biography Visionary Black Feminist: A Critical Introduction (2007), where she notes a disturbing "tendency among many writers to focus on Black women intellectuals’ lives rather than their theories. Consequently, Black women’s arguments and theoretical contributions have frequently been under-engaged or even dismissed altogether because so much attention is concentrated on their life stories." Sounds familiar?

J. Cole is an artist that internalizes marginalization within his own (p)OWER. He is a mere bumblebee bat being stretched thin. He has told us countless times in various songs about his inability to respect the intellectual power of Black women. 

"Purple emoji with horns on it/ Like the devil but ain't nothin devilish, babe"

She know me like a book, its too easy to read my ass/ Unhappy stressed, yelling don’t mislead my ass/ I mean I make it so easy don’t please my ass/ If shit was on the other foot then you would leave my ass (Love Me Not, 2010)

Do you believe that Eve had Adam in check? (Forbidden Fruit, 2013)

I get the skirt when I want (skrrt!)/ Due to the money aroma (somebody)/ My girl she got a diploma (smoke)/ She got wife written all over (Kevin's Heart, 2018)

So what else are we to expect when we hear yet another song that bullies and insults the intelligence of a Black woman?

Why would anyone want to defend Snow on tha Bluff (the song)? Does this song not sting with intra-community envy and emotional abuse? Does this song not ooze with patriarchal dismissal of yet another Black woman's contribution to radical movements? Doesn't this song parallel the countless moments in Hip-Hop that yet another Black woman is subjected to public bullying, gaslighting, and exhausting mansplaining? 

What will it take for the world to accept Black women with grace? 

There is no honor in death. 

There is no pride in life. 

Where do we find education when we lack trust in our neighbors? 

Our neighbors share the intimacies of intellect and are met with suckled teeth that scream 

"(o)PPOSITION."  

...Y'all not tired?

*takes a deep breath*

The song is so unnecessary to the liberation of Black women and men. It reeks of digression and manipulation that provides a visceral example of why Black women and men struggle to work with one another. Our Elder, Miss Ella Jo Baker, once said “The major job was getting people to understand that they had something within their power that they could use, and it could only be used if they understood what was happening and how group action could counter violence…” So what is left when the other half of our Divine existence rejects the mercy of Woman; and shrinks lower than being a faker Snow on tha Bluff? 

I listened deeply and I read closely what one of Our own revealed about one of Us. My heart aches for an answer...

If you enjoyed this article, please let me know in the comments below. Be sure to follow @SmallPinkDreamsBlog on Pinterest and Instagram!

Subscribe to Small Pink Dreams

Chain of Fools

I cannot share my opinion about Jordyn Woods for the very reason that I’ve been that young girl who has had a kiss stolen away from her by a man who’s ego is too high to asses the consequences. To Khloe Kar*ashian, no one deserves to be publicly humiliated (especially us, Cancers, because we cannot take the anxiety of self-defense); however, to blame a young girl for the destruction of a family that was already in fragile pieces, is pathetic and should be shamed. And self-love ain't always easy!

As Jordyn described on Red Table Talk, Tristian Thompson, the kiss was consensual and definitely unprovoked. Khloe’s adamance that there was more to the story only reveals her own insecurities of intimacy. You see, for those who do not have a great sense of self-confidence and self-esteem, any fragment of intimacy is prided and held at the highest regard of love—along with sex, dancing with another person whom is not your spouse, and possibly even meaningless social interactions such as a hug. When there is a lack of confidence in the love that you provide and maintain with your significant others, victim blaming is not present. In fact, the outcome of lack of confidence is virtually always victim blaming. To think that an outsider is the cause of an unhealthy relationship is deafening to the reality that you and your significant other do not love each other in the ways you fantasize.

There are two ways that women can see the light: follow their instructions of their intuition or as act in denial of their intuition. One thing I am almost certain, those are the two greatest decision one ever has to make. Your source of intuition can come from s number of things—God, your sister circle, your mom, nature, Black Obsidian gems, some energy clearing. A second thing I am almost certain, it shows up loud and clear. Clearly there are missing pieces that are not being taken into account like the child in between two loveless parents or the odd necessity of publicizing your pain. But when you reject your intuition for that validity of insecurity, there’s no winning after that!

Without knowing the full details, I can see that Tristian does not love nor respect the woman who birthed his daughter. Khloe’s response is nothing but a scorned woman who has no grip on her relationship. I’m sure that she feels protective of the intimacy she has with Tristian—and she should! Yet, as she sees her baby daddy repeatedly dog her in her very public life, she only feels right blaming the only other woman used as a pawn in his runaway lifestyle.

Forget attacking the other countless women confirmed as Tristian’s toys—Jordyn Woods is the one that sealed the deal! 

Jordyn will be fine as long as she looks forward—away from lifestyle around the Kar*ashians. Khloe will be fine as long as she stops replaying the humiliating situation constantly in her head and heed the advice of her fellow women that self-respect goes a long way in a partnership with man. And for Tristian, may you fall ten-fold over down a grand staircase and watch—as you lay pained in bed—as your seeds reject the legacy you leave and prosper with no relationship to your name. The world doesn’t need anymore children involving themselves in grown folks mess!

Subscribe to Small Pink Dreams