No Weapons Formed Against Me: Growth After Facing Adversity

"B*tch" "N*gger" "Black c*nt" "Get a job" "Ferguson's Calling!"

These were all the things that I, along with tens of other marginalized people, heard on a college campus following an event that spewed hateful rhetoric and violence amongst it's audience. While protecting the dignity and livelihood of myself and others, I received the most threatening comments from a very large group of angry, bigoted conservative white people (with a surprising amount of Black and Brown bodies). I sat on stage with 10 others soldiers fighting the adversity that our university failed to protect us from--thus leaving us to protect one another.

I find myself struggling with how to write about this event. I didn't know how my story would sound, how captivating it would be to my readers, or even if I would just come off as dramatic and victimized. 

A week after the event, I'm lying in my bed struggling to find the right words to write about the event--only to realize that my narrative doesn't come from the actual events of what I endured but from the realizations that appeared afterwards. I opened my Bible app and the first story that jumped out to me was the story of David and Goliath. In 1 Samuel 17, it tells the story of how David, a young shepherd from Bethlehem, was able to defeat the big bad Philistine that constantly terrorized Israel, Goliath. Goliath would armor himself with bronze and visit Israel every day to challenge to battle. When David visited Israel, he heard Goliath shouting things against Israel and vowed to kill and cut off his head.The Israel army gave David all of this really fancy and protective bronze armor, but David didn't feel comfortable wearing them because he wasn't used to heavy equipment. So instead of all the protective gear, David only took his walking stick, five stones from the stream. and a sling. 

*Pause* While reading this, the entire time I was thinking "David how are you gonna fight Goliath?!" I was so nervous, because poor little David was only a shepherd. He didn't have any experience in fighting but had the biggest balls to challenge this giant dude. I was nervous and shaking like:

But back to the story...

When Goliath sees David, he starts taunting him. Goliath said to David "What is that stick for? Did you come to chase me away like a dog?" (1 Samuel 17: 43) David responds: 

“You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 46 This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. 47 All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” (1 Samuel 17: 45-47)

After Goliath started to attack David, David pulled a stone out his bag, put it in his sling, and swung the sling. The stone hit Goliath right between the eyes and Goliath fell face first to the ground--thus killing Goliath.

At first, the story of David and Goliath meant little to me. Now, I think that God told me to read that specific Bible verse, because he was trying to tell me something. My experience at this event left me with more questions than ever.  In that moment being on stage I felt powerless and weak. What made matters worse. the responses of people that were supposed to support and protect me shamed me for my actions.But after reading the story of David and Goliath, I think that God was trying to show that what I did was necessary and good.

Being in that room, I saw the minuscule amount of what my ancestors and my people have been fighting for centuries. I was outnumbered by hate-- taunted by the white supremacists that believed I didn't deserve any rights or respect. But like David, I didn't need the extra security to protect me or the countless hours of training to prepare me for this moment. 

God told me a week later that everything that I have learned and the personal growth that I had endured before the event prepared me better than ever. I thought that I was in a situation that I couldn't handle. Thank you God for protecting me and shielding me from hate. You showed me I had everything in me to fulfill my purpose in that room.Now look at me--surviving and stuff. 

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